Get a water softener
Your dog has worms
Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer
And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”
New Joke : A Priest And A Lawyer Walk Into A Bakery
The Lawyer looks around shrewdly, grabs three freshly baked buns and quickly puts them into his pockets.
He says to the Priest, “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns
The owner didn't even see me.”