A woman sought the help of Reddit community members after she refused to pay for her husband’s meal at a restaurant. Prior to the dinner, they agreed to have separate finances and pay for everything equally. However, the husband didn’t think his wife would actually let him cover his share of the meal.
In the world of marriage, several problems between husband and wife can arise, and finances are one of the most common issues. Often, couples who have different values when it comes to resources clash when spending money.
This is why it is essential to talk about finances before tying the knot and even seek external help when mindsets don’t align. Unfortunately, a woman realized that finances would become a problem in her married life after she tied the knot.
Different Views on Money
A 30-year-old woman anonymously posted on Reddit, sharing her situation with her 32-year-old husband. The couple has been married for four months, with each earning their own income. She is a secretary, and her husband is a police officer.
According to the woman, her husband’s spending habits do not match hers. Admittedly, he is terrible with budgeting and does not plan for tomorrow. He enjoys purchasing things without thinking about his account balance.
One day, the woman proposed to have a joint account with her spouse. Ideally, the husband and wife would have a joint account for savings and shared expenses, but her partner saw the resource as a double up in his salary.
Spending Left and Right
The husband started spending left and right, purchasing expensive items without first informing his wife. “It was just like grab money and go spend it,” the woman said. “Not okay because we have commitments.”
When the woman talked to her husband, he admitted that having a joint account was a bad idea. He also defended himself, saying that part of the money in the account was his, so he did not need anyone’s permission to spend it. He told her:
“Am I crazy to think that everyone should just be able to have their own money to spend regardless of [whether] they were married or not?”
Eventually, the couple agreed that they should keep their own salaries but equally pay for everything they spent jointly.
Making His Wife Pay For Dinner
One evening, the husband suggested that they enjoy a dinner out. Assuming they would each pay for their own food, the wife agreed. However, when the feast was over, the husband, who had ordered more dishes and desserts for himself, was shocked that his wife asked for separate checks. “You’re not gonna pay for my meal too?” he asked.
The man argued that he had already spent all his money and did not have enough to pay for dinner. However, his wife counterargued and reminded him about their agreement. She told him that paying for expenses equally meant paying for your own food as well. Admittedly, her husband didn’t actually think she wouldn’t pay for him.
After the husband made his arguments, the wife settled the bill for her meal and left. Two hours later, the husband came home, told her that his friend had to go to the restaurant to pay for his food, and accused her of being mean.
After bickering, the wife suggested that they seek professional help for the matter and go to therapy together. The first thing her husband asked was, “But who’s paying?” and continued to remind her about her “unacceptable” actions. He also wanted his wife to apologize for not paying for his food.
The woman’s post received several comments from Reddit community members who understood her problem and sided with her. One person said that her husband was showing red flags early on in the marriage, while another suggested they fix matters, whether it is alone or with a professional before it gets worse.
Do you think the woman was right not to pay for her husband’s meal? What would you have done in her situation? Pay for the man’s meal or leave?