AM I WRONG FOR LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THE REAL REASON I WASN'T AT MY DAD'S WEDDING? I've always been pretty close to my dad. A few years ago, he started dating Anna. Anna and I always got along, so when my dad proposed, I was happy. It seemed like she would be a great stepmom. I bought a dress, shoes, etc., to look decent at their wedding, but a few weeks before the ceremony, my dad and Anna said they banned me from it. They decided to have a child-free wedding, which includes no one under 18. On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17, so, therefore, I was not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wanted to stay true to the child-free rule, even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter. The funny thing is my 18th birthday was just two days after the wedding. But still, I wasn't allowed to go. My mom ended up taking me on a birthday vacation, and yesterday I posted birthday pictures on Facebook. I wrote, "I'm so glad my dad and Anna didn't allow me at their wedding since I was under 18; I feel more mature since yesterday." The family was freaking out, asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and selfish and saying that's why I was too immature to be at a wedding. I would like to know, am I wrong for letting people know the real reason I wasn't at my dad's wedding?
Reddit is the place where people share stories of their life and ask fellow redditors for advice and opinion on the decision they make.
A teenage girl recently shared that her dad and his wife-to-be excluded her from their wedding and she explained the reasons behind that heartbreaking decision.
“I (f18) was always pretty close to my dad. Closer to my mom but I often visited my dad (about 3-4 times a week). A few years ago he started dating “Anna”. Anna and I always got along when my dad proposed I was happy Anna seemed like she would be a great stepmom,” she started her post.
OP said that she was overly excited and was looking forward to the wedding. She bought a dress and shoes, but then her dad told her that he and his fiancée needed to talk to her about something important.
“Well a few weeks before the wedding after I had bought everything (dress, shoes, etc) my dad and Anna said they needed to “talk to me” Anna and my dad decided to have a child free wedding which I get especially for young kids.
“Well turns out child-free means no one under 18. On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17 so, therefore, I’m not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wants to stay true to the child-free rule even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter.”
Devastated, OP told her mom what her dad and Anna said to her. The mom was as heartbroken as her daughter and decided to take her on vacation so that she cheer up. At the same time, the mom told the rest of the family what her ex-husband did to their daughter. Understandably, most of them were shocked and angry.
Later, OP posted birthday pictures on Facebook and wrote, “I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their wedding since I was under 18; I feel more mature since yesterday.”
“The family was freaking out asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and a selfish brat and that’s why I was too immature to be at a wedding. I was talking to some friends and they said I was kinda an AH for doing that and I should have just let it go.”
Fellow redditors shared their opinions and agreed that OP wasn’t an AH for telling the family what her dad did to her.
“NTA. What kind of man doesn’t have his own child at his wedding? Anyway, they made the choice, if they believe it was the right choice they should have no issue about it being publicly known. Plus, people might well assume you weren’t there because you disapproved of his new wife or chose a vacation instead. Ensuring people know WHY you weren’t there saves your own reputation,” one person commented.
“The no children was made for you. I’m sorry but let that sink in. She made that rule to keep you out. You now know where you stand in their marriage…you don’t. I’m so sorry. NTA. I personally think it was EPIC. Harsh but epic. They deserved more than that. I would even update it with pictures of their texts,” another added.
A third wrote, “I can’t help but wonder if she purposefully pick a date before OP birthday just so she couldn’t go. If the dad & step-mom wanted to make it child free but make sure OP was there they could have made sure the date was AFTER OP birthday but to make it just 2 days before….. nah they didn’t want her there & was just trying to use that as an excuse.”
We believe the dad was not right for excluding his own daughter from the wedding.
What are your thoughts on this?