Is My Reaction Justified after My Adult Stepdaughter and Her Kids Made a Mess of Our Home?
A woman had her stepdaughter and her family move in with her and her husband. But the two women struggled to get along until one incident led to one of them packing their bags.
A wife opened up on Reddit about her family dilemma and explained that she and her husband got married when his daughter Trudi was 22, and she is now 36. The Original Poster (OP) has two kids, 18 and 20, who are both in college.
A happy couple at the beach | Source: Shutterstock
When the OP and her husband met, Trudi's parents had been divorced for six years, but her relationship with her stepdaughter was turbulent from the beginning. The Redditor understood and did not expect Trudi to like her as she had her own mother and was a responsible adult living independently.
But unforeseen circumstances had the two women under the same roof. Trudi and her husband started facing financial problems that led them to move in with the OP and her husband. The Redditor explained that they lived in a high tourist area, so instead of getting rid of her old apartment, she used it for short-term rentals.
Two women looking angrily at each other | Source: Shutterstock
However, since Trudi and her family needed help, they agreed that she would move into the vacant apartment after the holidays. "They would sign a lease, and we would "rent" it to them without collecting rent so they could build up rental history and money," explained the OP.
But living with Trudi was not the best experience for the OP. She did not like how she didn't clean after herself or her children. The Redditor saw Trudi's husband put more effort into keeping the house clean even when he was exhausted from working long hours.
A dirty house | Source: Shutterstock
The Redditor said she discussed the issues with her husband and even spoke to Trudi and her children, but nothing changed. "My son-in-law is the only one who makes an effort. Trudi literally said that I live in her father's house, so I don't get to tell her what to do. My husband did not back me up." reiterated the OP.
The OP had had enough of the back and forth with her stepdaughter, so she moved out of the home and into her apartment. She now did not want Trudi living in her apartment anymore after seeing how she treated her property.
A woman packing a suitcase | Source: Shutterstock
This made everyone angry, including her husband. The only person who understood the OP's frustration was her son-in-law. Her stepdaughter even went as far as threatening to sue the OP because they had already signed a lease. But Redditor said she would lose the battle before it even started since Trudi had not paid a deposit for the place as stated in the agreement.
After a week in the apartment, the OP was in love with the peace and quiet as well as having clean space. Her husband would visit a few times a week but still pleaded for them to return to their initial agreement.
The OP said she would move back only if she were to walk into the house and find it clean. But that was not the case. "It was disgusting. It didn't smell good. It was like if five teenage boys were living there with no supervision." she said.
A woman standing in a messy room | Source: Shutterstock
Trudi immediately started making up excuses and telling the OP that it was not her fault and that the mess had accumulated because she did not have her own living space. The Redditor did not fall for the story and walked out of the house and back to her apartment.
People in the comments section understood the OP's frustrations. Many believed her husband was in the wrong for enabling his daughter's behavior and should have stood by his wife's side.
Many also empathized with the son-in-law. Readers suspected that he had already gotten used to dealing with Trudi's behavior and that this situation only exposed the imbalance in their relationship. However, netizens advised the Redditor to stay in her apartment and leave her husband to deal with his daughter until he could no longer take it.