An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun.
The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a snarl, “What’s the rush?”
“I’m late for work,” the old lady replies.
“Uh huh, sure!” snaps the officer, “And what do you do?”
She replies, “I’m a rectal distender.”
The cop responds, “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly?”
She answers, “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then I work up to three fingers, four fingers, until the whole hand is in.”
“I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely I extend the rectum, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”
The officer is shocked, “And what the heck do you do with a 6 foot asshole?”
She responds,
“Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”