A man walks into a bar and sits down.
He asks the bartender, “Can I have a cigarette?”
The bartender replies, “Sure, the cigarette machine is over there.”
So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, “Oi, you bloody idiot.”
The man says with surprise in his voice, “That’s not very nice.”
He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts.
The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, “Ooh, I like your hair.”