Humor: The rules from a man’s perspective

 


We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules

from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are

all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us

complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of

it that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints

do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!


1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect

us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the

ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you ...

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