An elderly man Dave walks into a bar and sees John his old friend sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
Dave says “John what are you so happy for?”
“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and a redhead came up to me… t!ts out to here, Dave, t!ts out to here!
She says “Can I have a ride in your boat?”
“I said ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’
So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said ‘Its either scr*w or swim!’ She couldn’t swim, Dave, she couldn’t swim!!.”
The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees old John sat at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Dave says “What are you so happy about today John?”
“Well, Dave… I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me… t!ts out to here, Dave, t!ts out to here!
She said ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’
“Sure you can have a ride in my boat.”
So I took her way out, Dave, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said ‘Its either scr*w or swim!’
She couldn’t swim!!, Dave, she couldn’t swim!!!!.”
A couple of days pass and old Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer.
Dave says “John, what are you so sad for?”
“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me… t!ts WAY out to here, Dave, t!ts WAY out to here.
I had more wood than my boat does.
She says “Can I have a ride in your boat?”
“Sure you can have a ride in my boat.
“So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out… much further than the last two.
I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said
‘Its either scr*w or swim!!’.
She pulled down her pants…. she had a d!ck, Dave !!! She had a great BIG d!ck!!!
Dave, I CAN’T SWIM!!!”