A bloke goes into a baker's and asks for three pork pies. The assistant picks the pies up with a pair of tongs and puts them in a paper bag.
The man then asks for three strawberry tarts and the assistant picks up another pair of tongs and puts three tarts into a bag.
“I must compliment you on such impressive hygienic standards,” said the man.
“Thank you,” says the assistant. “We’re very careful not to touch any of the food.”
Just as the man is leaving the shop, he notices a piece of string hanging from the assistant's trousers.
“Excuse me, what is that piece of string?” he asks.
“That’s used when I go to the toilet. So that I don’t touch my penis. I pull it out with the string, ”says the assistant.
“But how do you put it back?”
“Oh, I use one of these pairs of tongs.”