I have never been extremely successful with women. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated and had girlfriends, lost my virginity at 19 etc. But rejection was a common theme. I was always drawn to beautiful women and never gave women below my standards the time of day.
After graduating from college and building a successful career in STEM I started using dating apps (8 years ago). I found that all of the women I was attracted to were not interested because I am frugal, drive an old car and I’m not flashy with spending money.
After going on dates with 30+ women I found one that I was very attracted to that was also “interested in me”. Although she would say things like “I usually go for different men”. Meaning taller, more muscular etc. However I was very motivated in my career and that was attractive to her.
I come from a religiously conservative family where there is pressure to get married to keep up with social norms and keep from “going to hell as a fornicator”. Living with someone before marriage would have essentially made me the black sheep of the family. So being pressured to do so we eloped and got married after a year of dating.
I continued to grow in my career and being that my wife did not want children and was enamored at the idea of being a successful career woman I encouraged her and footed the bill for her to get a 4 year degree. After finishing school she bounced around from job to job and couldn’t hack working a 40 hour week due to “stress”.
During this time period I was very financially responsible towards saving and paying down our mortgage while she lived in a day dream of becoming a YouTube star or a CEO some how without putting in the leg work.
After five years of marriage I had our house 80% paid off and enough of an emergency fund to last us 8 months without jobs. I also work in a field with a high demand where I can easily find new work. My job was no longer fulfilling and I thought I’d like to become an independent consultant but my wife did not like the idea of financial instability for a time.
I set up my consulting business and then quit my job without her approval to pursue this venture full time. She immediately left me and I received divorce paperwork shortly thereafter for irreconcilable differences. This caused me to spiral into a depression and I scrapped my attempt at building a company.
The silver lining was that before the divorce was even finalized I found a new job making 50% more than my prior job. However I had learned my lesson and she took 50% of the equity in our house after it was sold even though I had saved 1/3 of that equity before we even met in the first place.
Most women see a marriage as transactional. If she perceives that you may no longer be of value to her prepare for a “cash out” scenario. Marriage really only benefits women in our westernized gynocentric society.
TLDR: Rent, don’t buy (women, not property). No need to choose celibacy, but make sure your life doesn’t revolve around women.