I was so dead in love with my highschool gf and we broke off before we left for college. I couldn’t cross the se* line with any girl during 4 years of my graduation(CS Engineering) because I felt that in my heart it was not over.
Come job time, she reached back and I foolishly (but eagerly) got back with her. We were still states apart so it was a long distance situation. We talked a lot during the next couple of months. Then the frequency reduced because I was getting a buck load of work and had to prove my worth in the place I was working, was really focused.
6 months after we got back, she asked me what we’re my plans for future. It was a serious conversation and I told her I was gonna do MBA. This didn’t go well with her, she was like why don’t you just work hard and get promoted rather than an MBA. I explained to her that there is a bar I see no matter how far I go in this line and honestly I love/am passionate about programming but through my experience I had realised that I. Am not good at being objective about something I’m passionate about and this is hampering me mentally while working for someone, so I meant to get a business degree and proceed further in my career.
2 months later she broke things off with me, it broke my heart. I didn’t even get a chance to address her concerns. It happened just before the competitive exams for some top b-schools in my country(India). It was bad but I didn’t have a reason to complain. So I grinded through the process, was not able to secure any of the IIMs but got into ISB( it’s good but not IIM)
She got the news and guess what ? She wanted to get back but unfortunately for her this time I had learnt my lesson. I communicated to her that what she did last time took a toll on me ergo I am abstaining from any relationship in the near future without any exceptions. This obviously rubbed her the wrong way, she bad mouthed about me in our common friend circle. However, all these years of grind and solo suffering taught me self reliance so I really didn’t care, but I had always kind of been that way “friendly with everyone but very few close friends” everyone more or less knew me in that circle. Her deception didn’t work for long, after they checked with me she was the one who got cut off.
Fastrack to 2020, she recently for married to someone and none of our friends went for the wedding, she contacted me once a couple of months after the wedding I didn’t answer.
Feels great to get released from your own mental barriers and getting the control back.
My advice to every young guy now a days is, “Just create a good life for yourself, everything else will fall in place.”
MGTOW had really helped me come to terms with being solo and not feel bad about being ostracized, we all need some alone time to introspection. Develop yourself, evaluate your relationships and future.
Grow up well guys.